Friday, September 20, 2013

The Kitchen

This was a 10 minute writing exercise - Using Repetition for Effect.

She heard the gentle tap tapping on the kitchen door. So quiet it would never be heard out in the main ballroom. Out there where laughter and forks scraped against china. Out there, the people carried on, they'd paid for the evening, the food, the entertainment.
In here, the kitchen staff prepared to feed. In here, those who didn't belong ate alone, quietly, hiding from those out there.
A young girl opened the door to the musician. She was fourteen, the daughter of the head cook and restaurant manager. She waited tables out there and washed dishes in here.
Out there they'd never know what was happening in here. The musician smiled a clumsy, awkward byt charming grin, all bright white teeth in a perfectly round face.
He would eat well in here. She and her mother would see to that. Then he would go out there and shake the house down with that famous jazz trumpet. 


  1. This is such a cool excercise! Lovely result, Lynn.

  2. I love the lack of editing - sometimes being able to write with no editing is just what you need to get the brain cells functioning. But the result is somewhat confusing to the reader, I'm sure. I meant for this to describe 1950s era racial discrimination in the North. I doubt you could get that from this, but for 10 minutes of unplanned and unedited writing, I'm okay with it.